GAME OF WHO 1
by anniwoodymail.com
Summary: The Tardis gets clipped by a speeding ship. Peter Capaldi decides to follow it and give the pilot a piece of his mind


**GAME OF WHO**

The only sound one could hear was the sound of the Doctor thinking. He glared at the control panel, pressed buttons, pulled levers and turned knobs. Nothing. No response.

'I give up… for now'

He tried not to look at the control panel. He had been trying to get the Tardis to travel to the storyline department so that he could have a few well chosen words with the staff. He was tired and he wanted some time off, a holiday, a short break. He was always on edge, never letting down his guard, he had plenty of time to be left to his own devices but even in the quiet periods he always felt that he had to be 'on duty'. He stretched his arms above his head and yawned. He closed his eyes. Just a couple of days off. He could get up late, he could have a late breakfast, last nights pizza heated up in the microwave. He could sit around in his pants, eating pizza and looking at cat videos on the web. A long soak in the bath then wasting time in the bookies and the pub, he might even have a go at pulling a girl. He grinned at the thought of that, he had chat up lines unique to him, inviting one back for coffee saying ' a lot of things are bigger than they look' as she stepped into the Tardis and saucy comments about his sonic screwdriver were sure fire winners. If only he could get to the bloody department! He knew that somehow they had ensured the Tardis would never locate them. His grin disappeared. He had no companion at the moment and as for girls, well he remembered ending up on the Klingon mail order wives website one lonely evening and still had the flashbacks.

The Tardis rocked violently knocking the time lord off his feet. He swore under his breath and got up and looked at the monitor, shook his head, wiped the screen and looked again. A ship had clipped the Tardis causing it to spin, the ship was in trouble and was heading towards the nearest planet at incredible speed. The Doctor couldn't identify the ship due to its velocity so he set the Tardis to work on that one. That was no big deal, there were so many makes and models of craft out there you could never really tell who was piloting what. The problem was that there was something lying on the floor.

A large bundle of rags it would seem and it stank. The Doctor prodded it with his foot.

'Bloody typical. You are a bloody Time And Relative Dimension In Space mechanism not a pigging Oxfam shop on a Monday morning. Good grief you pick up any old crap, you're an intergalactic magpie with no taste.' The Tardis ignored him. The bundle of rags sat up. He was a big bearded lad with confusion written on his face. He got to his feet and towered over the Doctor and looked round the Tardis in wonderment. The Doctor made an assessment. Late teens possibly, European perhaps. Judging by the way he is dressed and the smell probably from the Middle Ages. Rank? Peasant.

The monitor bleeped and the peasant dropped to his knees in fear. 'Thar distress signal from the ship, its crashed on the planet below. Is that your planet?'

'Hodor' said Hodor.

'The planet Hodor? Not heard of it. Well I'll get you back to Hodor and try to locate that ship, check for survivors. Don't get too comfy sonny, I'm not hanging about.'

'Hodor?'

'That's where you're from. I asked you what your name was.'

'Hodor'

'So your parents named you after a planet?'

'Hodor'

'Is that all you can say for yourself?'

'Hodor'

The Doctor glared up at the ceiling 'Tardis, get a bloody move on'

He checked the monitor. His day was going from bad to nudging towards shit. The information worried him. 'Not him again, I thought I kicked his sorry arse out of the cosmos years ago'

The Tardis door opened.

'Hodor Hodor' yelled the giant pushing the Doctor out of the way and running off into the forest.

He can really motor for such a big guy thought the Doctor as Hodor was soon swallowed up by his surroundings. There was a path leading away from the Tardis leading upward. The Doctor started walking. He came to the crest of a hill. In the distance was smoke curling up from a ruined castle. The Doctor hoped that the occupant of the ship had died, but he had to make sure. He had no idea where he was. Hhmm, best nip back to the Tardis to get some more info.

The Doctor stepped out of the Tardis. He had a scarf, gloves and a woolly hat. From what he had found out the planet wasn't real. The people on it were not real, but then again the Doctor didn't exist but they seemed very concerned about the seasons. 'Winter is coming? Seems to be a popular saying, along with other stuff… dragons, a dwarf and an iron throne, oh well' he trudged on.


End file.
